Introducing The Maybe Last Video Store in Missouri?
Beautiful art of our beautiful Googey by Kevin Cannon
How did you decide the last movie you watched? You are on the couch with your partner or friend or alone, you pick up the remote and open up Max or Netflix or Tubi (Tooobi-TUBI) and flip around. Unlimited options presented, the future we were promised, all of the impossible to find obscure titles are definitely here somewhere. But I imagine, like most people, you spend a while clicking around, too much time clicking around, after a while you see that there is yet another brand-new expensive Chris Pratt film produced by Netflix, and even though you didn’t particularly enjoy the last of these expensive Netflix duds, maybe THIS will be the one. Or you go to the new additions and are met with yet another true crime original that is a padded out to 85 minute story that really didn’t deserve more than an odd headline (Mayor Smokes Crack, Mom Catfishes Daughters Boyfriend), but I think we have all figured out the scam that the companies did—they debundled cable and sold us all the channels separately and then PUT THE COMMERCIALS BACK IN and the commercials are ALL for medications they have recently made up for diseases you have never heard of).
Now believe me, I do understand the benefit of being able to scroll through seemingly never-ending titles from the comfort of one's bed, but I also believe that by and large, this is all the illusion of choice.
Algorithms are incredibly good at telling you things that you WILL like. But they are not able to tell you things that you WOULD like if you encountered them, but you would never encounter them because the algorithm will never suggest them. The kind of things you stumble across at a flea market, or a book whose cover calls you to judge it (positively), and you come away thinking, “Wow, Im glad I randomly encountered this”. I would imagine that some of the most impactful experiences with art you have had came when you least expected it. Of course if you enjoyed One Piece 1 through 78, you will probably enjoy volume 79, but I didn’t know what I was in for when I came across TALK RADIO on Comedy Central (??) when I was 13, or taking home a copy of Hal Hartley’s Henry Fool having no idea what I was getting.
Kids now exist in a media environment where they can watch the thing they want the moment they want at any moment. To me, this sucks. Kids should have to be bored more often! It’s good for them! They should have to watch whatever movie is on TNT in the afternoon that holds little-to-no appeal to them if they INSIST on staying in and watching TV rather than going outside to play. Eleven-year-old boys should sometimes be home bored on weekends and if they are watching TV, they should be watching the cable edit of The Shawshank Redemption. This isn’t the primary problem going on with young men, but it’s part of it!
So in this spirit, we are officially announcing our video stores MISTER GOOGORIUM’S MOVIE EMPORIUM, a video RENTAL store that will be housed in the back room of Bookmarx coming THIS MARCH!
That’s right, we’re bringing back movie rentals! FEWER CHOICES! LESS CONVENIENCE! HIGHER PRICES!
Now let’s break this down our slogan.
Fewer Choices.
This slogan is a placeholder for our future slogan MORE MOVIES THAN NETFLIX. That slogan is on hold as I currently do not have more movies than Netflix, and saying MORE MOVIES THAN PARAMOUNT PLUS (which is true) does not impress anyone. So while I am GOING TO have more movies than Netflix because I am not just putting any old junk into the Emporium, it’s going to take a while to amass more movies in actual quantity, but I would already say we have more decent movies than Netflix. For a laugh sometime, go search the “CLASSICS” section of Netflix movies. For their purposes, anything made before 1994 seems to be a classic. Getting Even With Dad is likely in the category if it's in their film library.
What kind of movies is this place stocking anyway?
Okay, I said up there we aren’t stocking any old junk, and don’t get confused, we will have all kinds of JUNK (junk being subjective), but it will be the right kind of junk. One of the issues with finding a film to watch on Tubi (Too bi TUBI) is that there is no quality control. You have Schindler’s List next to The List of Schindler some slop created to get people to accidentally watch it. The old direct to Redbox style of thing where they would release the Furious Car on the weekend the new Fast and Furious movie was released to profit from confused people who aren’t paying close attention.
Primarily we will be stocking theatrically released films only, but any oddity that is interesting will be added. I will have a running chart of how much of the Criterion Collection we have on the shelves, but right now I think it’s hovering around 4%, and I’m sorry to say that that 4% is the Michael Bay, Kevin Smith wing of the Criterion Collection.
LESS CONVENIENCE
Okay, I can’t beat the streaming services on this. I can’t come to your house and put the movie on for you, and they can. They have me there. I still think that the EXPERIENCE is a better movie finding experience. I think there is a benefit to browsing in person and maybe not just what is being presented to you by each app. I won’t get into all my complaints about this, but I find browsing for movies via Roku the most depressing experience on earth.
But look, if you have a monthly membership, no rush, just switch out the rental during your monthly or biweekly trip to the bookstore, which you know you should be making anyway 😊
HIGHER PRICES
Okay, this one is dubious. We don’t have our pricing model completely ready to launch yet, but we are going to have a monthly rental price, which will be cheaper than streaming service ($8 a month for unlimited rentals, with a max of 6 at a time) or $2 per movie/wk. We’re also going to have 2/99 cent Tuesdays (cash/Venmo only because I’m not trying to run a bunch of credit cards for $1.07). This is my RECESSION BUSTER DVD Deal.
So that’s logistics of what we are doing. We’ll rent you dvds for a little bit of money, now for the practical question WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING THIS? Haven’t you noticed that there are no video rental stores anymore because it’s IMPRACTICAL?
Well look, let me be so for real with you, I would not just start up a video store as a business by itself. Do I think a video rental store is a practical business model in America in 2025? Outside of our largest American cities and probably than no more than one store, I do not. But here’s the thing, I have a bookstore which I do think is a practical business model and I can just add a video store that I do not expect to make a lot of money. My costs on this are really low. I’ve been spending the last two years buying up DVDs, so organizing them and offering them for rent isn’t going to LOSE me any money, so please do not come and tell me that this is impractical because well, first off, everyone was wrong about the impracticality of a bookstore, and second, I don't really care, I WANNA DO IT.
I don't think we can bring back the past. Trying is, as Jay Gatsby taught us, a fool’s errand. Yes, myself and a lot of people my age, have nostalgia for the video store experience and all that recalls in our lives. Fridays going with one’s mother or on a date or with friends to browse the local video store, and that’s not an experience that will be recreated. You can bring back Blockbuster, but you can’t bring back the feeling of being an 8-year-old at Blockbuster. Trying to do so is what has resulted in the last few decades of dreadful mass entertainment. Millennials who refuse to let go of anything they enjoyed as children. So while I do think that I am designing a store to appeal to the aspects of video rental stores that I have nostalgia for, I do think that there are a number of things that a video archive does allow for that you don’t get from streaming services and the film companies who determine whether or not a work is in print or available to stream online.
I am not the person to do this as an exercise in nostalgia because I hate all that. I’m doing this because I think that I am actually trying to achieve something better than what currently exists, and I do think there is a need for an archive of film that is not controlled by the wealthiest men on the planet, and for all the other things that mass control by an elite group of our art and entertainment suggests, and I believe that if we have to have gatekeepers, I am a better one than Jeff Bezos, but beyond that, why am I doing this? Again, because I want to.
So I dont know if this makes sense to anyone but me, but if it doesn’t, well, you don't have to worry about it! And if this is of any interest to you, come and check out the Emporium coming soon! And tote bags available now!
Also, I know libraries exist, but (1) our library system recently got rid of their CDs and (2) different type of thing. And I have been really trying to find if there ARE any video stores still operating in Missouri, and as far as I can tell, there isn’t. The closest I have found is in Lawrence, KS. A list on Reddit from a few years ago showed a number that were still in operation, but all have seemed to have closed, but if you know of any, let me know so that I (1) don’t false advertise and (2) can go check them out!
Also, do NOT ask about a behind the curtain backroom ADULT section. I know that by doing this I am going to have to submit to this joke a dozen times a day for the rest of my life, and I’m already weary. :)
